Today, I find myself reflecting upon what happened to me in the past …the why’s … and the new man that has awoke and has continued to do so daily over the years. I am in my prime, yet my body would resist that notion at times. Am I still stuck in the past I often ponder? No, I am not! I continue to move forward and never let the words that were too often spoken to me , ”This is it” from the assortment of specialists, doctors and the like wear upon me any longer. My body has had to relearn everything and has improved amidst my once dismal diagnosis yet, my mind has never lost control. I have come to a place of healing and continue to do so daily and so appreciate life!
This brings me to a recent visit to my Father. He has endured many Trauma’s (physical, emotional heart-wrenching & medical to name a few) within his life and throughout each, there has been a piece of life taken from him I feel. In each, there has been a indelible mark left upon his soul, a memory block, a loss of will, a cognitive dysfunction or the like; with no sense of willingness in attempts to grieve or heal. He has in a sense let his internal wounds become infected.
In my recent time with him, there was no new man I found awaking. There was no new day within his eye’s! More-so, a man communicating with his children about preparing for his journey toward death. I asked of him, “How are you preparing”? His response was a rambling confused state of a man I felt that I no longer knew who had endured Trauma after Trauma. During my time with him, he did acknowledge his current state of “non-wellness” and confirmed his acute awareness of a life fully lived, yet unfulfilled, with tears soaking within his eyes.
So, there we sat ….two Trauma survivors at different stages and ages of life. What was of importance to me was attempting to provide him the power to “heal” before his time or his life is given to God. Healing I believe is a power we all have within us should we attempt to use it despite our past, current place or circumstance.
For my father, discussing forgiveness in his situation was simply for him … letting go of so many anchors he has had attached and that has held him drowning under-water over the years. This conversation proved fruitful. Despite initially believing my father who has diagnosed atrophy of his brain and body along with various types of cancer’s that have been eating away at him for years… his mind I found is still in control and he has indeed the power to heal left within him and willingness to do so!
The following days and months using his own natural gift of healing will only bring a comfort and greater sense of closure that no doctor can prescribe. As we closed , he internally knows he has indeed had a life fulfilled and will continue to be fulfilling ! Tomorrow the sun will shine and will be a new day…