It has indeed “been a while”. Been a while since I took a walk and noticed what a “while” can do.
I noticed that the summer skies came and went and fall turned to winter and I asked myself was there ever a winter … was there ever any rain. What happened to the time? The answer was it came and went. Like it has seemed for some time now…it can just come and go.
Grief to me is a verb… full of disturbing mental images, emotions, actions which is a forever process to recover!
Still finding and using myself as an experiment to what works best to overcome my hurdle after hurdle, I’m still looking for the golden key. While with practice, for lets say, the hurdler it may come easier to hurdle the next one. For the disabled or Trauma survivor, the hurdles often become bigger and the practice for the minor ones just do not prepare one for the onslaught of “big ones” that follow. The seasons may run together?
Grief is a bed of despair and hopelessness. There are so many books that to teach one “what it is” and “how one how can deal with it”, but very few tell how to experience it and actually treat ones own unique special path.
With grief and healing, I’ve learned and know there needs to be support!
Support can come in many forms, but especially the love and care of your family and loved ones is of most importance! Other supportive assistance may be involvement with, Counseling, In-Home Health Support Services, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Speech Therapy, friends, etc… When you are able and/or feel like you can move forward, you can work with your support person/team to make a plan that includes your understanding of what you’ve learned from your “days off” (sometimes season off) or old ways and also serve a reminder of what’s available to you. If you aren’t ready and find yourself still grieving….give yourself time with your support! It’s OK! Keep reminding yourself of the positive things that may come or may have already come from making your changes thus far. This could be very simple that may have gone un-noticed such as less stiffness in your movements, easier transitions, breathing more comfortably, or you could be a little emotionally stronger on certain days such as being able to spend more time with your friends or partner each day or even being outside? You can be your own growth Judge!
I believe one can always find something as good or better today than in the previous day…. regardless how wonderful it may have been! Each day the sun rises and is a new day and the best day to begin the changes that could make a difference in how you feel! Remember, no matter how many clouds that may be above your head at times, the sun still shines…. and I know how hard it is to push away the clouds, but the sun is there!
Even every waking day is special! I don’t mean just opening your eyes or getting out of bed. I mean being mindful of having a new day. As a trauma survivor this is important in the healing process as I read somewhere that hopefulness research tells us that being mindful of this concept is the number one factor toward healing and creating a better life. Focus on what is important to you and place your attention, intention, destination, energy and hope there and healing may come. This make’s sense to me!
“The only way to make sense out of
change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance”.
I suggest changing something every week. Choose what you will do differently well beforehand. Commit to making these changes. What happens when you commit yourself and you keep to that commitment is that you learn to trust yourself! We are very good at giving our word to authority, our doctor, our family, and our friends, but what about ourselves? Do we keep promises to ourselves? Frequently, too often I do not believe we do. If we are to heal, we must focus
upon our commitment to ourselves and rid ourselves of that stinky thinking. No matter how small your commitments or goals, the faithfulness to yourself
creates a reminder and builds upon your own character, well-being and ultimate healing!
There is no question that all trauma survivors should honor their body and mind! No matter how much the struggle and resistance we place upon ourselves or is placed upon us, this is an important component of healing. A key toward healing is to be pro-active and support our mental, emotional and physical selves. I suggest begin slowly and work toward a more optimal way of living. A few simple reminders told to me by several individuals that took a long time to
sink in were simply the importance of getting rest. If your body continues to run on empty, you will eventually run out of gas.
Diet is essential and makes also goods sense. You are what you eat. To heal, you must eat and eat healthy. I am not a nutritionist, but I do remember to have protein shakes daily and choose wholesome foods as my meals.
If you’re able, move your body in any way that makes you happy! Whether you are in a bed or able to use a treadmill, some form of regular activity has and is a
definite boost to overall healing.
In the effort to heal, there must be time created to treat your self well. A lesson taught early in life to me was the greatest gift we can give ourselves and for
our loved ones, is a life well lived.
I also strongly recommend therapeutic counseling following a trauma event. It assists one in this process incredibly. I have found in my previous career that there are many misconceptions about counseling. I suggest some one in a state of grief or depression see a licensed specialist who specifically deals in that
area of concern. Just because someone has fancy letter by his or her name does not mean they have the experience o deal with a trauma survivor. As you inquire different places regarding a new car, I suggest calling several places and asking if they have specialists in that area and/or for a referral.
These suggestions have helped me and have provided tremendous value in my life toward my goal of healing and also maintaining a strong entitlement of hope. They cannot hurt and I believe they can clearly help trauma survivors. My personal hope is you will become content and eventually heal upon your own incredible journey and not miss a day of your life. Isn’t that what this is all about?